The decision to seek help in caring for an aging loved one is a complicated one. The goal is to make sure they get the best possible care, even if that means engaging professional caregiving help.
Learning how to navigate your own emotional response to your changing role in your parents’ life is challenging, but with time and support, you and your family can embrace the good things that come with choosing a senior living community.
Table of Contents
- Why These Feelings Are So Common (And Completely Understandable)
- Shifting Perspective: What Assisted Living Really Provides
- When Guilt Shows Up, Try These Approaches
- Signs This Decision Supports Everyone’s Well-being
- Building a New Chapter Together
Why These Feelings Are So Common (And Completely Understandable)
Most adult children experience what is known as caregiver guilt about the choice to move a parent to assisted living. You may struggle with the sense that you should be the one to provide the support your parent needs. Asking for help from professionals may seem like handing off a responsibility that you expected, or maybe even promised, to fulfill yourself.
Many families have a set of cultural expectations about the role of older adults in the family, and breaking from those expectations further complicates any long-term care decisions. You may feel an extra weight from challenging those expectations. At the same time, you may realize that the role of family caregiver doesn’t work for you or your loved ones. Breaking from tradition may be the best way to get your parent the care they really need.
These complicated and changing emotions are a normal part of the process. You may feel relief that you have a strong care team in place at assisted living, while still feeling guilty about selling a long-time family home. Or you may feel hopeful that this change will be positive, while being sad that your parent needs daily care for the first time in their adult life.
This is all natural. The deep, honest feelings are a reflection of the love and connection you have with your parent. You want the best for them, even as their needs change and grow.
Shifting Perspective: What Assisted Living Really Provides
One important thing to remember is that assisted living communities are warm, supportive environments. Vivante communities deliver the best possible care in a beautiful luxury setting. Residents in Vivante assisted living and memory care communities gain access to professional care, social opportunities, and safety accommodations that enhance their parents’ quality of life.
Assisted living facilities specialize in providing residents with a full range of services. Meal service is one of the biggest benefits. Not only do residents get delicious, nutritionally appropriate food every day at Vivante communities, but meals are served in a restaurant-caliber dining room. Dining is an enjoyable, social experience that residents look forward to every day.
In addition to full-service, chef-prepared dining, assisted living communities have a full calendar of activities and social events. Vivante communities have fitness facilities on site and a selection of exercise classes for all abilities. Residents can take part in art activities, interest-based clubs, and outings to restaurants and performances. The robust calendar of activities fosters relationships and social connections that improve well-being.
Vivante communities are designed to create an environment where parents often thrive in ways home care couldn’t support. The staff on site at Vivante can help potential residents find activities they’ll enjoy and encourage them to feel at home.
Once you get through the decision-making process and help your parent acclimate to their new community, you may find that your relationship is stronger. You can focus on being a loving and supportive child, rather than an exhausted and worried caregiver.
When Guilt Shows Up, Try These Approaches
If you start to feel guilty or have second thoughts about assisted living, take some time to work through those feelings constructively. Speaking with others who have been in similar positions is often very helpful. They can share real-world perspectives that may ease your mind. The staff at Vivante communities can connect you with other families if you want to chat with someone who understands your position.
You can also get reassurance by visiting your parent often and checking in with them by phone, text, or video chat. You’ll be able to see firsthand how your loved one is enjoying their new environment. Soon, it will be apparent how they are benefiting from supportive care, improved nutrition, new social connections, and engaging activities.
The process of transitioning a parent to assisted living will continue to bring up conflicting emotions. Give yourself time to adjust to this new normal. And never forget that you made this choice for the best reason: you wanted your parent to be in a place where they would have 24/7 access to the care they need. Assisted living provides all of that and more.
Signs This Decision Supports Everyone’s Well-being
There are usually clear indications that a senior needs more support than they can get at home or living with family. The biggest concern is safety. If you are worried about your parents’ memory, risk of falling, and their ability to care for themselves properly, it’s time to consider options to protect their well-being.
Health concerns are another reason to increase the level of care. Assisted living communities are ideal for seniors who have health conditions that require consistent treatment and monitoring. Professional staff can assist with medication routines, ensure residents keep doctor’s appointments, and on-site medical staff can help monitor vitals like glucose levels or blood pressure.
Assisted living and memory care services offer improved safety for older adults with Alzheimer’s disease or other types of dementia. Secure facilities with round-the-clock staffing ensure that residents don’t wander or injure themselves. Memory care communities give residents routines, regular meals, and cognitive therapies to better maintain their health and wellness.
Mental health is another reason to consider assisted living. Seniors with limited mobility often grow increasingly isolated. They can’t easily go out to meet friends or participate in activities. They may be unable to travel to see family as often as they once did. That can lead to loneliness, depression, and anxiety, which can negatively affect quality of life.
At the same time, caring for a loved one can put a strain on your own health and emotional well-being. Adults balancing the responsibilities of work, marriage, children, and an aging parent can quickly burn out. Delegating the day-to-day responsibilities for overseeing medical care, meals, and personal care can take stress off you as a caregiver. Without that pressure, you can focus on meaningful connections with your parent, rather than feeling overwhelmed by daily tasks.
Building a New Chapter Together
Communities like Vivante prioritize maintaining family connections. We work with families to make residents feel at home in their new community. Families can share personal history and preferences with us. Those conversations give us insights into residents that only the people closest to them can provide.
We have an open-door policy and welcome families for frequent visits. Coming by regularly to see your loved one doesn’t just benefit them – it also gives you peace of mind about their wellbeing.
Visits are an opportunity to enjoy a meal, a conversation, or an outing together as a family. You can get to know the other residents and staff, so you can learn to appreciate the new community your parent is part of.
Many Vivante families have discovered that taking the direct caregiving element out of daily interactions improved their relationships. There is less strain and worry for everyone, and families can return to more relaxed interactions.
Even with frequent visits and open communication, you and your parent may need time to settle in. That’s why Vivante’s staff partners with families, understanding that this journey takes adjustment for everyone. We are here to answer questions, offer reassurances, and make any changes necessary to ensure that you and your parent are comfortable in their new community.
Conclusion
Moving a parent into an assisted living community is a big decision. But it’s also one of the best decisions a family can make. Vivante luxury senior living communities give older adults the care and support they need, in an environment they can wholeheartedly enjoy.
To learn more about how Vivante communities benefit residents and their families, contact us to schedule a tour.
FAQs
Will my parent adjust and be happy in assisted living?
Vivante’s staff is committed to making sure each resident feels welcome in their new community. We offer welcome services to help new residents get settled, meet new people, and find activities they will enjoy.
As with any move to a new place, there is a period of adjustment. We find that most residents get settled within 4-6 weeks. Many genuinely enjoy the social connections, activities, and support they find as they’re getting to know their new community.
How do I handle family members who don’t understand?
Conversations with family members who disagree with your choices can be challenging. You can help them understand by sharing your perspective calmly. You can also invite them to visit the community. Seeing your parents’ new residence, meeting the staff, and learning about the amenities firsthand often reassures family members that this is a positive choice.
Will these guilty feelings fade over time?
Yes, most families feel significantly better within a few months as they see positive changes. After residents get settled in, it becomes easy to see the benefits of an assisted living community with comprehensive services. Watching positive changes in a loved one helps families realize they made the right choice.
How does Vivante help families through this transition?
Vivante staff are committed to helping residents and their families adjust after a move to assisted living. Each community provides family support resources, open communication, and compassionate guidance, helping everyone adjust to this new chapter positively. Families can contact staff at any time to ask questions, get reassurance, or request changes to their loved one’s care.
